Her Name is Sorrow

~a poem~

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Thank you she said 
it like a question
while we walked along 
ocean, creek, tributary
—made no difference—

our conversation was all
chemistry — alkali and acid:
elemental sisters warring,
waiting — we, their mediators.

Taking my hand, she made me 
hold the life gone from a starfish, then took

my arm and led me to Jennette’s pier, now decrepit? 
She took my eyes and told me I’d be fine

in heaven blind — she took my eyes! —
one in each enormous hand

and chucked them in the sea so I might
see the coral reef’s white bones
she mused

then left me shouting on the beachrock
like Bartimaeus.

My eyeballs floated
in the flotsam before one sank
in the drink; it must have been
my weightier eye — serious, tireless, landing 
long after in a bathyal baleen 
whale fall. 

The other — my light-hearted eye —
rushed into a shallow current
rich with a community 
of pink and purple plastic.

Above the sea, the rest of me sat down
in defeat. Soaked by unexpected waves
— not tears, my eyes were lost, recall — I cried

out with the seagulls
Sorrow! Sorrow! 
until I sensed her presence —

mercy, shame . . . again
she said Thank you — her voice 
wide and deep inside a yawn. The tide 
came up to tuck her in

to bring the night’s oblivion
which makes the day’s woes 

bearable — its acid 
and its alkaline — she slept
I think. And I awoke.

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*Shout out to Adam & Meredith whose magical upper room (top photo) was an ideal writing retreat space for me to finish this poem.

*This poem was commissioned by the Irish/Welsh composer Anselm McDonnell. Anselm and I met at Hutchmoot UK where he heard me read one of my poems. He was working on an album exploring themes of home, longing, and displacement, and invited me to contribute a poem that he would then compose for. Although I’m an ignoramus when it comes to the modern classical/opera/jazz/folk fusion that he composes, what he did with my text astounded me!

*Both these pics^ I took in my car (the only place where I can play a CD) because a CD is what Anselm sent me as the finished product! I have since cajoled at least 6 people into driving around with me to listen to this rendition of Her Name is Sorrow.

*The full album, Kraina, is out February 2024. You can learn more at www.anselmguitar.co.uk or check it out on BandCamp: