This is a delightful sonnet. I really love the abba-abba play. I had to pause when I got to it, look at the rhyme scheme, and then what delight when I confirmed the double-meaning.
Jesus as the volta breaking into the sonnet, the planned turn that the poem was always going to come to... that's a really delightful conceit.
And I'm totally fan-girling in wonderment that you got to take a class with Malcolm Guite and that he encouraged you to punish your poems. What an amazing treat!
I'm so delighted to know this inspired you, Melony, and that the notes gave depth and clarity. I hope you do take up your pen and write poems yourself!
As I wrote out my usual prose today (I think that's what my style would be called?) I decided to try a sonnet too. Thank you for the inspiration and encouragement!
Maybe I'll put it up on my substack, but for now, it's in a google doc:
Reading your "first" poem reinforces my conviction that I would never have made a good poet. In fact, most of my life I've pretty much avoided poetry. It changed when I came across John Donne's Holy Sonnets. I especially loved the "turn" that allowed difficult posed questions to be answered, at least in a fashion, within the same poem. The discipline needed for a sonnet seems to concentrate and refine the argument so effectively. The Holy Sonnets speak so humanly about the struggles Donne had in his faith over the years. (I ended up writing a devotional commentary on the Holy Sonnets, published as "Conflicted Faith" during Covid). Your poetry gives me that same sense of humanity and faith, which is why I appreciate your poems so much. Thank you for continuing to share!
Ha, I don't know about that conviction of yours, Graham! And yes, Donne's Holy Sonnets are a wonder. Have you come across Philip Yancey's newish book, UnDonne? I'd love to find your devotional commentary as it seems a similar thing to Yancey's. Thanks for your kind words, Graham, and I hope you keep on writing yourself.
Sorry for hijacking the comments section of this great first poem! But I'd love your thoughts on my resulting first try at a serious poem. Not great obviously, but it turned out better than I expected. I used Donne's rhyme scheme.
Messiah
Hope, from the start, strikes evil’s serpent-head!
The world now blessed through aging Abram’s seed -
King born of Judah, David’s heir indeed,
Promised Messiah. Hope lives - never dead.
Destined to suffer, whipped, back’s blood runs red:
Graham! Thank you for sharing this. There are some great alliterations here and you know I love all the questions, and an Elijah mention! Sticking to Donne's rhyme scheme was a labor, I'd guess. Good work.
Thanks! Yes I've read Philip Yancey's book. Though somewhat recently published, I believe it was actually written a long time ago. Good stuff though. I also just read a good biography called "Super-Infinite" by Katherine Rundell. Conflicted Faith is available on Amazon, or any bookstore should be able to get it through Ingram. Best search is "Conflicted Faith Graham Seel" - it's not exactly on everyone's bedside table! Or, if you send your address to my email grahamseel@comcast.net, and let me know if you prefer softcover or Kindle, I'll happily buy you a copy. And ... I'm trying to write a sonnet anyway ...
Oh my so glorious....what a great photo of the group with Guite! I had the privilege of sitting in a weeklong poetry with Malcolm at the Glen Workshop in 2018--he is a remarkable man and sooooo inspiring.
Anna, I'm so glad you shared this poem. It is stunning!
PS why, yes I have tried to write a sonnet--I've written two. It is no easy feat. Again well done!
I'm a newbie to reading poetry, so thank you for the explainer about the structural aspects of this poem. It is a beautiful poem for Easter weekend and the context provides much more depth and understanding for me.
My sister and I were just talking about our Jonah hearts today, how we want to deliver the message God gives us and not question the audience or lack thereof. I think the sonnet might be my favorite form: it's constraint and concision curb my long winded ways. I really love what you said about the abba rhyme scheme, an inherent cry to our father. Wow I really love this. Thank you for sharing.
You have the juice, Anna! Right from the start! I passed a child Friday coming out of her building yelling “Abba, abba” after her father who was walking down the street, and it struck my heart with a sweetness that this poem deepened for me.
Sort of off topic, but is there a book of poetry you’d recommend for a very angsty 13 year old girl?
Ha, the juice! Thank you, Christine. What a lovely little image you've shared with us here of that child, thank you for that as well. Hm...angsty 13 year old poetry book...I'm not sure how accessible much poetry is for a 13 year old, to be honest. I wish more collections came to mind! The ones I would recommend take a bit of discernment as to meat and bones. Bandersnatch Books has a kickstarter campaign right now for a collection of poetry that I believe is geared to that age group called "I've Got a Bad Case of Poetry" -- that could be a good one! But you know what...the more I sit with this question the more I am convinced that the ABSOLUTE best thing for that angsty girl is the Psalms. Beautiful, ancient poetry exploring every angle to our angst and yet ultimately lifting it all up to the Lord -- questions, fears, hopes, faith, anguish, it's all there. And it all finds a home in prayer. I recently got a spiral bound version of just the Psalms and Proverbs, in a journaling format that encourages writing and scribbling all around the prayer-poems. I love it. Maybe she would, too?
It's like a coral pink colored, spiral-bound, square shaped volume of only Psalms and Proverbs, with "Illustrating Bible" written on the front. The version is the NIV. Dayspring publishes it.
I was just reading Andy Patton’s The Darkling Psalter and thinking similar thoughts about the Psalms. Thank you for the specific suggestion- I’ll search it up.
This is a delightful sonnet. I really love the abba-abba play. I had to pause when I got to it, look at the rhyme scheme, and then what delight when I confirmed the double-meaning.
Jesus as the volta breaking into the sonnet, the planned turn that the poem was always going to come to... that's a really delightful conceit.
And I'm totally fan-girling in wonderment that you got to take a class with Malcolm Guite and that he encouraged you to punish your poems. What an amazing treat!
Also, "body forth" I love the nod to Malcolm/Shakespeare there!!
I read
and then read your notes
and then paused to take in what these new to me words mean (Volta, sestet, I'm uneducated you see)
and then read it thru again, amazed at the depth of meaning and with such power each word choice and placement brought.
thank you for giving us both the sonnet and the notes
I am inspired to learn more about writing poetry
and moved into Wonder at our Word made flesh.
I'm so delighted to know this inspired you, Melony, and that the notes gave depth and clarity. I hope you do take up your pen and write poems yourself!
As I wrote out my usual prose today (I think that's what my style would be called?) I decided to try a sonnet too. Thank you for the inspiration and encouragement!
Maybe I'll put it up on my substack, but for now, it's in a google doc:
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1d2l61ldcjw1rkjg2FGOPtR0cLlelK6dX-77-b1ZtK0c/edit?usp=sharing
This is fascinating! Your notes help me understand your sonnet and deepen it for me.
This is wonderful, Anna - and your notes make it really come to life. I love the abba, abba idea.
I see what you did there, sonneteer!
oh, I love this, Anna.
Reading your "first" poem reinforces my conviction that I would never have made a good poet. In fact, most of my life I've pretty much avoided poetry. It changed when I came across John Donne's Holy Sonnets. I especially loved the "turn" that allowed difficult posed questions to be answered, at least in a fashion, within the same poem. The discipline needed for a sonnet seems to concentrate and refine the argument so effectively. The Holy Sonnets speak so humanly about the struggles Donne had in his faith over the years. (I ended up writing a devotional commentary on the Holy Sonnets, published as "Conflicted Faith" during Covid). Your poetry gives me that same sense of humanity and faith, which is why I appreciate your poems so much. Thank you for continuing to share!
Ha, I don't know about that conviction of yours, Graham! And yes, Donne's Holy Sonnets are a wonder. Have you come across Philip Yancey's newish book, UnDonne? I'd love to find your devotional commentary as it seems a similar thing to Yancey's. Thanks for your kind words, Graham, and I hope you keep on writing yourself.
Sorry for hijacking the comments section of this great first poem! But I'd love your thoughts on my resulting first try at a serious poem. Not great obviously, but it turned out better than I expected. I used Donne's rhyme scheme.
Messiah
Hope, from the start, strikes evil’s serpent-head!
The world now blessed through aging Abram’s seed -
King born of Judah, David’s heir indeed,
Promised Messiah. Hope lives - never dead.
Destined to suffer, whipped, back’s blood runs red:
Peace-bringer, healer - will He meet our need?
Centuries passed, men forgot. Will God not heed
His promise? All hope lost, our faith misled?
But wait! Is this Elijah come to tell
Of hope restored, the coming humble king?
Manger-laid baby for whom angels sing –
Salvation born for all—let praises swell!
The Christ is here, to live, die, live once more.
All bow as God’s Hope opens heaven’s door.
Graham Seel, March 24, 2025
Graham! Thank you for sharing this. There are some great alliterations here and you know I love all the questions, and an Elijah mention! Sticking to Donne's rhyme scheme was a labor, I'd guess. Good work.
Thanks! Yes I've read Philip Yancey's book. Though somewhat recently published, I believe it was actually written a long time ago. Good stuff though. I also just read a good biography called "Super-Infinite" by Katherine Rundell. Conflicted Faith is available on Amazon, or any bookstore should be able to get it through Ingram. Best search is "Conflicted Faith Graham Seel" - it's not exactly on everyone's bedside table! Or, if you send your address to my email grahamseel@comcast.net, and let me know if you prefer softcover or Kindle, I'll happily buy you a copy. And ... I'm trying to write a sonnet anyway ...
I wanna read that sonnet when it's finished!
Oh my so glorious....what a great photo of the group with Guite! I had the privilege of sitting in a weeklong poetry with Malcolm at the Glen Workshop in 2018--he is a remarkable man and sooooo inspiring.
Anna, I'm so glad you shared this poem. It is stunning!
PS why, yes I have tried to write a sonnet--I've written two. It is no easy feat. Again well done!
Oh wow, a Glen Workshop with Guite, I bet that was a feast. Thanks for your kind encouragement, Jody! I'm glad to know this sonnet spoke to you.
Wow, for a first poem you went deep with extra meanings! Bravo! I can see why he encouraged you to publish!
Thank you, Sierra! Is there any other way to write a poem, than depth with "extra meanings"? :)
Haha quite true. ;)
I love this, Anna! What a turn. 💖
I'm a newbie to reading poetry, so thank you for the explainer about the structural aspects of this poem. It is a beautiful poem for Easter weekend and the context provides much more depth and understanding for me.
My sister and I were just talking about our Jonah hearts today, how we want to deliver the message God gives us and not question the audience or lack thereof. I think the sonnet might be my favorite form: it's constraint and concision curb my long winded ways. I really love what you said about the abba rhyme scheme, an inherent cry to our father. Wow I really love this. Thank you for sharing.
You have the juice, Anna! Right from the start! I passed a child Friday coming out of her building yelling “Abba, abba” after her father who was walking down the street, and it struck my heart with a sweetness that this poem deepened for me.
Sort of off topic, but is there a book of poetry you’d recommend for a very angsty 13 year old girl?
Ha, the juice! Thank you, Christine. What a lovely little image you've shared with us here of that child, thank you for that as well. Hm...angsty 13 year old poetry book...I'm not sure how accessible much poetry is for a 13 year old, to be honest. I wish more collections came to mind! The ones I would recommend take a bit of discernment as to meat and bones. Bandersnatch Books has a kickstarter campaign right now for a collection of poetry that I believe is geared to that age group called "I've Got a Bad Case of Poetry" -- that could be a good one! But you know what...the more I sit with this question the more I am convinced that the ABSOLUTE best thing for that angsty girl is the Psalms. Beautiful, ancient poetry exploring every angle to our angst and yet ultimately lifting it all up to the Lord -- questions, fears, hopes, faith, anguish, it's all there. And it all finds a home in prayer. I recently got a spiral bound version of just the Psalms and Proverbs, in a journaling format that encourages writing and scribbling all around the prayer-poems. I love it. Maybe she would, too?
It's like a coral pink colored, spiral-bound, square shaped volume of only Psalms and Proverbs, with "Illustrating Bible" written on the front. The version is the NIV. Dayspring publishes it.
I was just reading Andy Patton’s The Darkling Psalter and thinking similar thoughts about the Psalms. Thank you for the specific suggestion- I’ll search it up.